Monday, November 28, 2005

Mission accomplished

A week ago an Estonian man crashed the flashing lights of a police bus.
The guy was trying to attack a lady so policemen arrested him and took him to the bus. In there he started raging and broke the flashing lights with his head.

What's the point, you may ask...
Well... Firstly, how many countries you know where police gets around in BUSSES?
Secondly - how could he break the flashing lights while being INSIDE the bus? :) Is that a special trick of Estonian police to place the flashing lights inside their vehicles so that the villains do not notice them from a distance?... :)

Help needed


A few minutes ago I read this article saying that Russia strives obtaining Latvia and Estonia to fulfil the minority rights' protection recommendations made by the Organization for Security and Co-operation in Europe and the Council of Europe.

Moreover, Moscow officials have admitted that two Russian ships in the economic territory of Estonia did an investigation of the possible Russian-German gaspipe track without the permission of Tallinn.

While the majority of Latvians in their comments quite rudely claim for Russians to pack their bags and 'go home', I wonder what Estonians think about all this!? Any comments? Would be nice to hear!

taken by surprise

WOW, I'm shocked! Indeed - this chubby Estonian saleswoman made my day! Something like this happened for the first time while I've been living in Tallinn.
Previously I talked about the paradox that every Estonian knows the word for 'ice-cream' in Latvian (which is, of course, SALDEEJUMS :D). Yeah, by the way, last Saturday I found out one more possible reason why they know it - an Estonian man explained that during the Soviet era Latvian ice-cream was exported to Estonia in large amounts. As the ice-cream was from Latvia, clear it is that the label said 'SALDEEJUMS', and thus this is how they still know this designation.
Anyway, I was not going to talk about ice-cream.
Though, the surprize occured in a supermarket by a cash-desk. I didn't have any cash, so I paid with my credit card. It's always fun looking at the salespersons' face expressions when instead of their 'hansapank' they see 'hanza banka'. Moreover, my name is a jawbreaker not only for Estonians...
Thus, the salespersons usually don't say their 'aitah' (thank you), but simply nod their heads when returining the card.
Here now. I was waiting for the running nod or the scarce 'aitah' when a silent PALDIES (Thanks in Latvian) felt like snow on my head...

A stupid smile from me
A great feeling for me

Sunday, November 27, 2005

Madly...

It's the first Advent today. The great waiting begins.
I'm not talking about the buzz around Christmas presents. Being here in Tallinn I've learnt how to appreciate my family and friends left at home.
It's 1.30am, but I just keep sitting on my windowsill. In dark. Only one candle glows next to me. It snows madly outside. So pure. Just want to steal those wings of snow angels this night and fly home.

To kiss my dear while asleep...

Friday night fever goes on

To make the long story short:
Friday night, a couple of months ago. Tallinn. Night club. This guy wearing a t-shirt with a kangoroo saying 'I love Australia' comes up to me and says in pure English language:
-You are very beautiful!
-Thanks!
-Your a*s is very sexy!
-Thanks, I know.
-I want to f**k you hard!

---------------------------------------------
Is this a compliment or disrespect in its highest display?

mirror, mirror on the wall...

...who's the cripplest of the all?

Nothing more can I say after having spent this say in the all possible shoe-shops trying to buy winter boots. Y-U-K-!!!
Of course, every person has his/her own taste, however, strangely enough - I just couldn't find anything acceptable! And not that I'm very demanding, all I wanted was casual winter boots, black, no heal, no ornamentation. Simple.

Uh-huh... right... topknots, ribbons, spray, glitter, feather, red, pink, yellow!
Everything but simple.

good way how to spoil one's birthday mood

Last Friday it was my birthday. Though instead of going home and celebrating with my closest friends and family I decided to stay in Tallinn. Firstly, I was a bit critical about my choice, but later it turned out to be pretty nice anyway. While this day I understood that I've grown up a lot and that I hadn't even mentioned the turning point when my values changed. I received 2 presents (sounds modest, huh?). But who cares for presents if despite being so far away from home I had approximately 100 people from Latvia calling, messaging and e-mailing...? And some 50 more out in the streets of Tallinn wishing joy and love :)
Ok, ok, here champagne worked quite well (for who could refuse a mouthful for the health of such a nice girl as I am?) ;)

Anyway... the day and the evening was MARVELOUS! The Queen-of-the-Day-Feeling stayed for round the clock. Until we got to a night-club called Bon-Bon. Hadn't been there before with the girls, still we had a handful of suggestions to go and check out this place. So - why not, just the perfect day and the perfect mood!
A small crowd in front of the entrance... we wait... we get to the entrance... going in... and the guards grab us.
-You can't get in!
-Why not?
-The club is full!

Ok... we wait... one minute... two minutes... five minutes... some 15 people come out during this time. An Estonian couple gets in, now enough of waiting, right?
-You can't get in!
-Why not?
-Only people with client cards can get in!

Mmmmmh...we still wait... one minute... some Estonians get in... two minutes... some more Estonians get in... three minutes... noone shows them any cards!!!

Guess who was the person whose mood had fallen close to zero?

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

satisfaction

Going on with the Independence day topic...

As I had no oppurtunity to go home on these celebrations and meet my friends, family, peers - my whole nation, actually - in the celebratory parade, the President's address to the people, the great firework, and other events, I was absolutely glad when I found out about this Estonian-Latvian cooperational concert in honour to the 87th anniversary of Latvia’s declaration of independence.

It took place in Nomme Culture Centre (?) and both Latvians and Estonians took part in it. Although it seemed that there no other viewers of the concert apart from me, my mom, a handful of my friends, who had come to Tallinn to accompany me in the celebration, and the parents of the children who took part in it, the performance was just perfect! Well, probably "perfect" is not the word most suitable here, but at the moment nothing better comes into my mind.

A Latvian ensemble opened the whole event - ah, how good it was to hear some deep-felt songs of that most beautiful language in the world: Latvian! Imants Kalnins... Raimonds Pauls... you just sit there and give way to your soul which sings along aloud.
After, the stage turned into a dancing floor. Unfortunaly, not in a folk-dance dancing floor, but that of modern dancing - something between aerobics and breakdance. Here mostly Estonian teenagers performed. Not too correspondant show if we think about the true reason of the coming together, but, god is my witness - the whole event was just rampant with positive emotions and joy!

Thanks to Nomme Culture Center, it was more than nice! :))))

Sunday, November 20, 2005

disappointment

Come on, Estonia, this is no cool! On the 18th November, the Latvian Independence Day, I saw several private houses without Estonian flag in honour to this day! How comes?!?!?!?! :(

puzzlehead

Today this Estonian guy took me by surprize! I was bloody hungry so, while waiting for my bus to come, I turned to this stall where along with chewing gums, beer, buns, and condoms hanged the title HAMBUGERS. A place not radiant with trust. Nevertheless, there was even a small queue. In front of me stood a guy - I bet his nickname was Mr.Muscle as his physique was indeed one big muscle! He ordered a hambuger for 10 krones and a... sausage. A wrapped piece of sliced sausage for 12 krones. Seemed a bit funny to me, I mean - he could have ordered 2 hamburgers or something if he was so hungry. Just out of curiosity of how was he going to eat that all up I followed him with my eyes. He unbound the sausage and... squated... and called for this little cute pussy-cat :)

Just imagine - squating Mr.Muscle eating his hamburger for 10 krones and feeding a fluffy pussy-cat with a sausage worth 12 krones! :)
awwwwwwwwwww! :))))

Where are the Greens?

This weekend some friends of mine from Latvia came to see me here in Tallinn. As this was the second time they were here, naturally enough that there was no sense in showing off the city once more as if they had not seen the views already! So, I decided we could go to the Tallinn Zoo.

Guys, if you like and care for animals - don't go to this zoo! :( Of course, all of the world's zoos are some kind of prison to animals, but this is a sweatbox! Just imagine - a polar bear living in a cage not bigger than my room (and my room is not big) with masonry walls from 3 sides and the bars from the fourth. The ground is from concrete. And the only "amusement" is a pool of 3x2 metres with stinky water.
And the same with tigers, monkeys, foxes and others.

And how can we dear to call ourselves superior from everything alive?

this ain't actually funny...

Just recently I watched a horror film about zombies who sawed up their victims for later use... pretty sick... Actually, I don't know why I mention all this crap here, but I guess the conjunctive moment here is the sawing:
In Tallinn they have arrested the maniac who during the last two months had sawed in approximately 50 trees in a cemetery.
The villain was caught in the act. He had a hand-saw with him. Most likely the man wanted the sawed-in trees to fall on the visitors of the cemetery.
He was Russian.

Well... here I would leave this post, as the info works pretty well also without my comments, but I just can't get along without publishing one of the comments I read under the original post in delfi.lv. Johnny writes:

"After some years of unsuccessful attempts, the Tallinn Police with the help of foreign assistants has finally caught the legendary villain Urmas who, since his childhood, had always caused enormous damage to the graveyard. . . To make a long story short - Urmas was a scoundrel never witnessed before on the carriageway of Tallinn.
The mission was carried out very carefully as the guy was skilful. Bloody skilful. For example - the last eight trees he sawed in during just thirteen hours, moreover, while trying to escape, Urmas managed to stain the Hebrew graveyard with swastikas and to trick aunt Martha who sold flowers. . .
Feeling their own helplessness, the Estonian policemen asked help to the Finnish and Icelandic special assignment teams. The conference finished with three real proposals: firtly, to catch the villain; secondly, to do it quickly; and thirdly, not to suffer damages.
The Estonian team dressed up both as flower sellers and graves and took their appointed places. The Icelandic team, to not to arise suspicion, acted the part of a tourist group that as if had come to look at the monumental architecture of the cemetary. The task of the Finns was to base their armoured cars in the nearby park.

The first two days passed without any suspicion, except maybe for two Latvian students in Tallinn whose way back home from their university led just by the graveyard. They were laughing about "the jerks who were trying for 3 days to sell old flowers" and about "the losers who were observing the monument three days in a row".
Then, at 1:30am, the sound of a motor-saw broke out from the cemetary: this draw the attention of the policemen at about 3:40pm. The flower sellers threw away the flowers and started forward with their automats. According to the treaty, the Finnish armour cars should have driven up, but as the Finnish patrol were tasting Vana Tallinn for the fourth day already, they did not hear the signal.

. . .However, Urmas succeeded to escape, but he was let down by his own recklessness - he went back to take his motor-saw and this time was arrested.

According to the Estonian legislation, Urmas was warned and imposed to penalty of 300 EEK."

:)))

Thursday, November 17, 2005

trappy trackback

Some time ago I already wrote a post on my views of Tallinn as a city of sex tourism. That post was totally based on my own experience and observations, and that's why I've always admitted that there's a likelihood I'm wrong. Probably I'm going to the wrong places, probably I have some kind of biases or probably I have just misunderstood what I've seen... whatever that may be!
Here now, this is getting a bit more serious. I'd call that a proof to my statements. Just check this blog's trackback! Nothing too special, have to admit :( , but here comes the most interesting part:

06 Nov, Sun, 16:34:59
tallinn sex
07 Nov, Mon, 06:42:34
Tallinn Estonia Sex
09 Nov, Wed, 14:28:21
girls estonia
09 Nov, Wed, 16:31:40
estonia girls
11 Nov, Fri, 12:24:17
estonia girls
12 Nov, Sat, 02:15:01
tallinn sex girls

ooooooookay! ;)

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Condom vs Perse

Did you know that in France there is a town of about 8 000 inhabitants, called Condom? A-ha, that's right - a pretty interesting name for a town for those who speak English. The town council of Condom have given up the hopes of putting up a sign that declares the arrival to the city as the sneaky tourists will always find a way how to take it off and bring it home as a souvenir.

But did you know that there's a river in Latvia, called Perse? Well, if you don't speak Estonian this will not mean anything to you, but those who do... ooops, I'm sorry for being a bit rude (for in Estonian, as far as I know, this is the word they use to call your but).
However, this is only one of the words that seems funny to those who understand both of the languages, namely, Estonian and Latvian. In Estonian the word plika means a young girl (?) while in Latvian that would mean a naked girl. Then, while in Latvian lentenis means a cestoid, in Estonian it goes something like flying leg (?)!
Oh, here's a good one: while in Estonian kuule means something like hey, listen, what do you think about... then in Latvian that stands really close to the designation of male genitals...

But what I enjoy most of these is the kindest word of all: THANK YOU or aitah in Estonian... I just can't help but call everyone whom I thank... sheep... for this is what this word means in Latvian :)

beeee-beeee

Thursday, November 10, 2005

an outburst

In Latvia there is a stereotype that there are a few Russians in Estonia. Before agreeing to this statement, consider 'a call to a friend' option...
I don't know how many Russians are here, but unambiguously many. And the same as in Latvia. Of course, I am not talking about those who peacefully live their lives, study, work, raise children, do shopping and sit next to me in the public transport and read a book. I'm talking about the striking ones, about those who, I admit, derogate the whole Russian nation in my eyes to the level that I really do loathe them. Those bold ones wearing sweatpants and leather coats, those swearing, nibbling seeds of a sunflower, and drinking pure vodka in busstops or stairways. You say rasist? Biased? Aight!

No doubt, it starts with the history - at least I will NEVER EVER, AT NO TIME, UNDER NO CONDITIONS, IN NO CASE, NOT ON MY LIFE, BY NO MEANS, NOWAY forgive Latvia's occupation in 1940. I will NEVER forgive the losses, strokes, and
bruises of my country and its people. I bet I'd say the same if I was Estonian or Lithuanian, for the 20th century Baltic's history is pretty alike.
I know I've said before that it seems really strange to me that Estonians won't speak to you in Russian even if they had studies this language for years. It's the 21st century, after all - the era of business and globalization... On the other hand - this is what I really DO appreciate! Having lived in a foreign country I know now myself that it is NOT impossible to learn the language of the country which you are living in. Even without learning, by simply being here, I - a Latvian, a person whose own native language has NOTHING in common with Estonian - have acquired it to the level that I can at least do the shopping and ask what time it is... You don't see the point? Well, I don't know how it's in Estonia, but in Latvia Russians claim they are being discriminated because of the different language!
?????????
huh?
wtf?

As the Latvian independence day is coming on 18th Novemeber, some Russian deputies are going to organzie a conference on "Democracy in Latvia"... I mean - WHAT?
In that conference they could take the ultimate, the crucial decision: TO MOVE TO KALINIGRAD or KAMCHATKA!

What's so cool about ICE CREAM?

Believe me or not, but during all this one and a half year that I have spent in Estonia, I have met no Estonian who would have NOT known the Latvian name for an ice cream... It usually goes like this:

-someone asks me something
-Vabandust, ma ei oska eesti keelt (Sorry, I don't speak Estonian)
-then they ask which language I speak (-logical, isn't it? :D)
-Ma olen Latist (I'm from Latvia)
-Ah! Latvia! SALDEEJUMS!

:DDD what is the funniest thing about this is that they pronounce it with a "P" in the end... "[Ah! Latvia! SaldeejumPs!]"...

How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, if a wood-chuck could chuck wood? :)

If Estonia had subway...

Machine operator: "Atttttttttentionnnnnnn! The dooooooooor isssss cloooooosinnnng! Neeeeeeext staaaaatioonnnn..... Ohhhhhhh! Neeeeeeext staaaaaaatiooon!"


The way back home from school in the bus today was soooooo funny! The Estonian bus drivers always surprise me with the way they announce the next stop. Today the guy seemed to be lucky as hell, with his announcements he made even my bad day seem beeter. How? He almost sang through the names of the stops so melodiously as if he was a bull-calf just let out of a cattle-shed in the spring time... a bit clumsy comparison, but this is what it seemed to me... a very positive guy!

On the other hand I remember once it seemed to me that I had taken a bus to hell, for the bus-driver instead of announcing the next stop croaked it in the mike... sounded just like one of the Behemot's songs... You'll diiiiiiie, everyone's gonna diiiiiiiie!!!...
Ah, by the way, he listened to Rammstein while driving...
ooooookay...

Sunday, November 06, 2005

What's up, Saudi Arabia?

This is what I call sweet: "The parents of a baby girl born in earthquake-hit Pakistan have named her Estonia in honor of the emergency medics from the Baltic state who delivered her," writes Daily Times :) So, now there are 2 Estonias in the world :) A very nice act from the parents' side, and, of course, really nice that the girl survived, but I presume she won't be very glad about her name when she grows up...
Anyway, that's better than, for example, Papua New Guinea, Tadzhikistan, or United Arab Emirates, but still... "How are you, Luxemburg?", "What your plans for tonight, Cambodia?", "What's your phone number, Congo?"

The truth is out there

Some time ago I shared my experience about Estonian public transport peculiarities... Have to admit that my observations have been erroneous, seems that I've underevaluated this nation... foxy Estonians... while I thought that 70% of them used public transport without fare, the statistics show it's only 7%... What is it? - 10 times less??? oooops! :)
Anyway, the amount of money reaped from the bilkers is quite impressive, namely, 2.19 million krones (~140 000 euros). Moreover, the following is not really funny, but I can't help laughing about it: the ticket inspectors have been attacked for 15 times during this year! Just imagine the view - one has no ticket but instead of paying fine, he/she tries to escape by attacking the inspectors... lol

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Estonia vs Mozambique

Hi-hi! E-stonia beats E-Mozambique! Not bad, Hans ! However, I must say the situation is not so dull. Actually, being wired-up is a great advantage in the nowaday rapidly changing, technology based society. Well done, Estonia! I take off my hat to this (if I had one :D)

boom!

Wo-hooo! This is not getting any better... just sat down and opened my blog, wanting to write something positive about this country at last, when this is what I read in delfi.lv: a man has passed away in an explosion yesterday morning before 8am in Pae street. Maybe this seems of no importance (as explosions before 8am every morning is a usual thing for Tallinn :D), but what shocked me was the name of the street the explosion took place in: Pae! That's just round the corner from the place I used to live last year! I hope they are not following me... :)))

Thursday, November 03, 2005

arrrgh!

Damn! I'm just home from shopping and I'm absolutely furious! WHY ALL THE SMALL PLASTIC SHOPPING BAGS IN A GROCERY ARE GONE AFTER 4PM IN ESTONIA??? W-H-Y-??? As a result my school bag now is full of their goddamn milk, which, by the way, they produce in red packing! Milk and red packing??? Maybe they'll sell black christmas-trees in a couple of weeks???

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

no sex, no future!

I've heard that Estonian language does not distinguish between sexes, nor have they the future tense, correct me if I'm wrong. But basically what this indicates is 'No sex, no future'... alright, alright, this was a bit mean, I admit ;) Nevertheless, here's what I find really disturbing: Estonia may have highest HIV rate outside Africa! Ouch...! :-/